When I think of a selfless person, I think of a person who very rarely does for themselves. I think of someone who is constantly putting others before themselves. I think of WOMEN.
When I think of a selfish person, I think of someone who doesn’t consider others in any aspect. Not that they only think of themselves, but they just don’t consider other people first. I think of MEN.
There are many things that women and men disconnect on. We are both wired differently from the way we show affection, how we handle our emotions, how we approach a problem I could go on and on. So, it only makes sense that when it comes to how we think of others we would go about it completely different. I became interested in this selfless vs selfish situation last week. My husband and I were talking about something and his response made me give him the hardest side eye ever. I lucked out with my husband in the sense that he’s extremely loving, caring, affectionate, understanding, but also selfish. Not in the obvious type of way but in that way that made me question if this behavior from men is something that is instinctual, something that is taught, or maybe some of both.
Being a mom of boys and a wife, I see firsthand how this behavior can be taught at a young age and then nurtured as a wife. As women our selfless behavior causes us to go above and beyond in all situations. It causes us to make sure everyone else is taken care of and then, maybe, if we have anything left, we will try and take care of ourselves. But how much of this is selfless behavior and how much of this is us wanting to control? Us wanting to know it’s done right, us knowing no one else will do it so we just do it ourselves. Can we blame the men in our lives for them expecting we cater to them? Can we blame them for expecting to be put first? And since they aren’t wired the way we are, can we blame them, for in some cases, thinking of themselves first? I am completely aware that this is not all men and that it is based on the individual. I think that men love different from women and while some mean no harm, they don’t see the error in their ways.
A while ago, my dad told me that a “woman must find a man that loves her more than she loves him because women naturally give more”. This is something that has always stuck with me. I guess my question is, do we as women do this to ourselves? I think we expect men to love like we do and to care like we do. But that will never happen. Although a man loves differently that doesn’t mean the way he loves is wrong. Maybe it’s just our perception as women that men are selfish beings because they aren’t as selfless as we are.
Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way taking all the blame as a woman for the asshole tendencies most men have. I am just saying if we saw the roles we played in the situation and then began to change how we react to certain things maybe we would see a difference in their behavior.
While trying to somewhat understand men and understand why they are the way they are. I realized that maybe I can try and teach my boys how to be less selfish. As their mother, I can try and change this behavior and see if I can make a difference. Will I be able to completely remove the asshole that is all men? NOPE! Will I be able save their future thot girlfriends from heartbreak? NOPE! But what I can do is try to get them to understand and see things from a woman’s perspective. And I will do it with love.