A mother’s job is challenging and endless. From the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed we never turn off from mom mode. Sometimes we must deal with late night wake ups and early morning breakfast cries. When a woman has a kid and makes the choice to raise that kid, it is at that moment she makes a career choice. That career choice is MOTHERHOOD. This applies to all moms, whether you choose to be a working mom or a stay at home mom.
For some reason there has been a long debate over who has it harder, the working mom or the stay at home mom. Coming from someone who has done both I can honestly say each has its own difficulties and hardship. From my personal experience being a stay at home mom takes such a toll on you mentally and that made it so hard for me. I tip my hat off to women who make the choice to be stay at home moms. If I had a choice I would love to stay with my kids, I just don’t know if I’m mentally strong enough to do so. My anxiety is too high, and my patience is too low.
Don’t get me wrong being a working mom (40 hours a week) and a mom of three (endless hours) is extremely difficult and tiring. However, unlike the stay at home mom I get a little break. Whether you want to admit it or not, every mom needs a break, sometime to decompress and recharge. I’m not taking anything away from working mothers. It’s hard, it’s all hard. Being a working mom, I’m expected to be the best mom I can be and still succeed at work. I must maintain my home and my career. I constantly feel guilty for having to leave them and not be available all the time. I can’t pick my kids up from school, I miss some award ceremonies, even sometimes when they’re sick, I can’t be the one to take care of them. Does that make me a bad mom!? Nope, not even a little bit. Or at least that’s what I would like to think.
I fear my kids will remember the moments I wasn’t able to be there because they tend to out weight the moments I am. A big part of me envies the stay at home mom. Even though it’s no walk in the park, the freedom it allows you to be with your kids is priceless. I know that my kids know my heart and know everything I do is for them but I do think to myself if it’s even worth it. Is spending 9-10 hours a day away from my kids for a job I don’t even like worth it? Is the tradeoff going to be worth it in the end? I struggle with what the right choice is as a Mom. There’s a fine line between satisfying my own needs and still making the right choice that will benefit my kids the most.
For a long time, I was only motivated by others. By what others were accomplishing, what others said was success, how other people were parenting. In my head, that was part of the reason I felt I needed to be a working Mom. A mom that could do it all. Now I motivate myself. I use myself as the standard. What I achieve, how I grow, what I accomplish, and how I choose to parent. I gained that confidence through motherhood. As I’ve grown confident as mom, I feel that whether I chose to stay at home or work I am still doing it all. Every mom is a superhero in their own way. Everything I do for my boys, every decision I make, will always be rooted in love.